Rereading Homestuck - Inevitability, Sincererity, Slurs (ACTs 1-5)
===> OPEN THE HOMESTUCK PAGE
Current Aurel - As I work slowly, trudging through swamps of self-hate and self-doubt, I have been approaching the GAME OVER. This is the proximity point beyond which the writing quality drops, and the signs of it keep increasing through moments of genuinely incredible writing. A larger part of my drop of enthusiasm is also that I had time to sit on how Hussie manages male queerness in Homestuck, and how draining it feels. Keeping up this more naive, excited Aurel behaviour is difficult. I will nonetheless attempt it, although I cannot promise a great façade.
Past Aurel - Oh come on, it can't be that bad. All I remember is some characters losing relevance, which happens ALL the time. Besides, we changed, and now we find that our old self has been a touch silly! Haven't we realised Vriska isn't written that badly, for example?
Future Aurel - Oh god, she IS written that irritatingly, holy shit. Holy fuck, Hussie wants me to be irritated. He purposefully put a "be irritated" pipe bomb into this part of Homestuck. I feel I am actually falling for it and being irritated. Like sure, it's later but man. Christ.
During the moment of less than ideal conditions for reading a new long-form fiction, as your brain refuses to take in and fold new concepts into its strange monstrous self, your friend asked you to read Homestuck alongside them. As another nervous system alongside yours adds joy to any ordeal, you've decided to do so.
You decide to lovingly gaze upon the webcomic you've read once upon a time. It was what, nine years ago? The time that is connected strongly to a dear friend group and Your Major Fuck Up that tore you from them. As such, the return is bitter-sweet. But in the end you owe the comic itself something as well, don't you? Back then you half-assed the reading and didn't understand everything in the mass of text. Untrained you were, almost as if the only difficult fiction you had tested your teeth on was Mickey Mouse’s Clubhouse, and upon encountering something more demanding, your pathetic fiction teeth split and fell off. This is a trip, and a trip to see something disregarded before. It should still be fun, as you remember only bits and pieces (largely Dirk Strider).
But here is a bit of a PowerPoint presentation on Homestuck first. You always need a PowerPoint presentation. At least, that's how serious business is done. Uh, first you need to conjure up that projector remote... There we go. Wait no, that's a pumpkin. Uh, let's try again... a fresh mint copy of Pesterquest? No you must resist for now. Into the wood chipper it goes. Third time the charm? ... OK, you didn't want an actual charm...
Whatever. Just get on the stool and reach it with your hand.
Click. Please imagine a typical hiss and flicker of a half broken projector, and pretend you are not on your phone please.
HOMESTUCK needs no introduction. Most of those who prowl online spaces and belong to a certain age bracket are aware of it, if by nothing else than a reputation. Long, convoluted, annoying. Those are the adjectives attributed to this leviathan, a hydra whose heads split and split into narrative infinity. Its form is that of text, together with a quaint image, paired on a solitary webpage - the whole structure is meant to evoke early parser adventure games. Forward arrows for advancing the story are stylized as commands that would be given to the game engine. It was one of a few long-form comics in similar style made by Andrew Hussie. As you have learned during this journey, a lot of the story was created based on inputs by lovely commenters before it was exchanged for a stabler story structure, and the connection to the audience terminated. This is one reason why all those reading after the comic finished need some form of mythical guide on their quest, a Roman philosopher long dead, or an annoying fairy, to get that information in the present day. A friend who is a Homestuck old guard is the best source of all the hott goss, but the wiki suffices. Regardless, Homestuck is by many considered Hussie's Magnum Opus and the cross he will likely bear on his pained shoulders for the rest of the cosmic journey one calls Life. In addition to these parser game-like pages, the comic also has moments of animation and also small embedded games, or interactable moments. There's also a lot of music, which happens to be really good!
Click. The projector explodes. There is no more need for education, ever.
The only thing left is to navigate to the Homestuck page.
The plot of Homestuck gets increasingly convoluted as it goes on. The graph curve of the relation between page count and complexity resembles the rollercoaster drop of exponential function rather than a gentle slope of the linear one. Again, you remember the specifics of being utterly lost, confused, and a touch scared of looking like a grand fool who SHOULD go back to only comprehending the ilk of Dora and her sick, exploratory tendencies. But to your surprise the comic... explains. Sometimes more than once, even. Sure it often does so in the voice of a character who purposefully sounds mysterious or condescending, but ever so often, Hussie shows up to deliver decent recaps. Now that you are not bound to perform perfect clarity lest you risk looking like a dumbass to people you care about, it actually is a pleasant stroll.
As such, the story itself is rather simple. Well the outline of it is, while the details remain frustratingly difficult to explain. Like sure, those in-the-know grasp how utterly childishly simple prototyping is, but imagine explaining it to a normal person. "So in this game, which bends reality and the characters are trapped in now, they get a weird orb called a Sprite. They fuse this orb with something around them, and it becomes a talking tutorial character, unless they use something that can't talk. This is important! Every Sprite can be prototyped twice. Each prototype adds new powers to the enemies inside the game and to the final boss."
But ah, in your child-like wonder for how Hussie utilizes game mechanics to world-build and how all of it pays off later, you got ahead of yourself! Like, come now, you need to explain the basic structure first!
Four children receive a videogame that seems to allow one of them to modify surroundings of the other and permit them to reach their World, in which they have a Quest. They bring each other into its world, into their own Quest, as they work for the completion of a universe that would bear their mark, as their old world is destroyed and used to seed the new one. Ah, how clearly you notice a typical coming of age with a little bit of portal fantasy twist, although one that quickly destroys the original world. A nice twist, considering how much you despise that narrative pattern - oh hey here is a cool elf-land but you have to go back to your world and have a heteronormative life working away for a hot-dog factory. Themes and such.
As far as principal characters go, they will change prominently and reveal further depths - for now we have action fan prankster John, irony loving Katana wielding Dave, eloquent psychoanalyst Rose and quirked up with sauce "knows more than she lets on" Jade. John is raised by his Dad, a silly harlequin loving man who adores baking - he is a big fan of David Cage and loves practical jokes! Overall he is just a normal lad, which is why you don't go for him as a character much. but he does have shining moments. Dave is a cool guy, strongly obsessed with irony and being flippant. His caretaker is his older Bro, a guy obsessed with puppets, who also combats Dave on daily to train him. Dave is your favorite out of all the kids here, as he gets some of the most demanding depth and a strong arc that really benefits from a lot of ironic distance setup. Rose is a super cool rich kid with an overwhelming Mom, who she seems to engage in passive-aggressive sincerity-off with - she loves wizards and writing and her dialogue would not be out of place in an American Great Novels section. It makes you feel sort of inferior in a specific way, but Rose and her investigation and character are those of refusal of duty then follow-through. She gets to know and gets to guide towards successful continuation of narrative, and her archival desire is evident in the GameFAQs guide she writes during this stage of the quest. Jade is the one with the biggest mystery behind her. Insomniac, she seems aware of the ever looping time loops and necessity of keeping them together. Unlike others, her dear Grandpa is a taxidermied little guy and she is raised by Bec, a strange dog with mythical powers. Still her best friend. For now. Jade is the first clue this thing is more important than it seems. You didn't like Jade before, but now you really do. She is just a nice person, a category of being this comic rarely rewards, and her determination and growth are important for the story to go on. Her furry joke is also funny and she is just... she is just really quirky girl who takes the time shenanigans on with a smile on her face with a nary a headache the whole temporal vortex of this game gives you.
Past Aurel - Whoa, isn't that a bit harsh? "This comic doesn't reward nice people?" That's not true. Everyone gets a happy end of sorts in the end and gets to live semi-happily. I mean, don’t we think that shonen fights aren't the only thing that matters and character work is just as important?
Future Aurel - Yea. Jane, or Jake, or Roxy, or most of the trolls whose blood isn't blue, totally get a fair shake in the latter parts. Oh hey did you want to matter to the narrative? What? Oh no sorry, you just don't get to. You just get to exist as a background or a villain later. Or a 5 second trans character who kinda doesn’t fucking matter anymore!
Current Aurel - Isn't it unfair to bring up Epilogues? Not only are we avoiding them, they are not the work we are analysing. Although most trolls are already failing to be relevant ... I said it because I suppose a bit of downer is already coming on me, like a disease. A downer disease.
Past Aurel - I feel like you are just mad because of Dirk. And like that's tragic, but are we going to really judge the whole work because of his treatment?
Future Aurel - Oh my god, it's not just Dirk. Dirk is a symptom of the disease, which is short-circuiting the characters - they become symbols rather than people. Or you speedrun them into some ridiculous conclusion that connects in no way to who they were, but it does loosely connect to your theme, so who cares. He is also a symptom of how you fuse homosexuality with toxic masculinity so much that you lost sight of WHY you do.
Past Aurel - I mean that's bullshit isn't it? You don't get to say that about Hussie and what he wanted or did.
Future Aurel - He wrote it in a fucking design book. This whole work smells of sincere belief and work, but when YOU sincerely invest into it, the trap clamps shut and now you are the fool. It's why I think it is sort of stupid to write this. Even if one can extract goodness from stuff.
Current Aurel - Well, not to argue with you guys, but I think the bigger issue is that I am just recapping and not writing correctly. I mean seriously this part is just repetition repetition repetition. Which blows.
Future Aurel - Well, yea. We always have been and will continue to be shitty authors of anything. Reading Homestuck wasn't likely to change that, it just makes our diction annoying for like a week.
Past Aurel - God how can you be this fucking cynical. I just don't get why you insist that even attempts will be bad. It's just a small essay review to see what we like before you get it all shitty about it.
Current Aurel - I mean, I am already feeling bad about it, but let me try something else.
The characters are, at least so far, simple. The kids, their guardians, the helper sprite they put together from spawned game sprites and various objects in their house to act as tutorials (uh, remember that?), and these weird tiny carapace people. Oh my god the carapace people wrapped in funny outfits! On reread they make way more sense, and many even manage to become beloved and good characters in their own right. Although, as you know, they don't quite belong here yet!
John is nominally the main character. He is a nice lad who likes pranks and likes his friends. His dad is a normal loving parent who loves to bake him treats. John's point of view is that of immersion into the world, understanding how the base loop of crafting and replicating works. Dave is a character you like, probably the most out of beta kids. He starts out as an irony obsessed guy making funny comics online, with his role being that coming in late, and uses his time abilities, but just you wait. He grows into a properly tragic character from multiple angles as befits his role, and gets one of the most satisfying coming out scenes ever, if you remember correctly.
FA - Mixed with one of the most annoying pairings that feels like a desperate attempt to avoid homophobia accusations, rather than a genuine writing work, like other pairs get.
PA - Oh my god this isn't about that. You have to admit Dave being bisexual gets resolved pretty epic sauce style and with earnest sincerity, rather than irony.
FA - Yes, I just wanted to grouch.
And the Bro, well, he is the most fascinating Guardian isn't he? Utterly detestable, but fascinating. The use of puppets as distance, his only parenting being sword-fighting and endless vigilance, perfect toxic mix that creates a strange irony-as-distance wreck that is Dave. Not to mention him being all about toxic masculinity, while being gay and raising a kid not wanting to be seen as gay is another interesting wrinkle. Like, he sucks but he really is a guy you want to put on an armchair while asking him how his childhood was.
Talking about psychoanalysis, Rose is next. And oh god, does she activate your inferiority complex so badly. This one character fully trips up your own writing abilities and makes them seem like a cat wishing to communicate in shits. Hussie put his absolute Pussie into making her discussions ornate and complicated with word constructs that would befit an old novel. The purpose of Rose, as opposed with John who is just a n00b, is to get to know the game inside and outside, later on by even refusing its objectives. She is arguably the biggest “let's find out” of the bunch. But then again, as a seer that's sort of her thing. Her mom is a cool alcoholic scientist who loves her a lot. And loves wizards a lot. But Rose here thinks in her prepubescent angst that her mom just ironically mocks her. Which sort of mirrors Dave, except her mom doesn't beat the shit out of her. Mom is a more demure character, but she is implied to know a lot, just like Rose will eventually know a lot. Her latter purpose is to fuel a revenge fueled cascade.
Jade is difficult to talk about. Her whole being is sort of deeply integrated with the fact that she already knows way more than the other characters. She sees a whole different world in her sleep and gets prophecies. Her part has her set up all those items required in both future and past, for others to use and pick up as needed. And she is a rather quirky and fun loving girl. Oh and her guardian is her Grandpa. Well. Not really. The adventure loving Grandpa is a taxidermied corpse. Bec, the Dog is her Guardian. And he has some insane powers. Seriously, all sorts of stuff is wrong with Jade compared to other players. She is very much a lovable, nice goofball though.
At this early stage, the mechanics are mostly that of MMO and god-games. And the logistics of it are somehow lost on everyone not present in that specific era. Which you, with your narrow hyperfixation, folder of flash apps your mom downloaded somewhere and emulated Pokémon definitely didn't have. Now you however recognize some of these mechanisms from osmosis if nothing else. The game mechanics are important, but only the base instinct for their purpose is needed - propagation and combination of items. There are many jokes but they take the form of callbacks rather than requiring remembering the absurd logic of how it functions. You find it...adorable. What was previously during your first read nothing but a miserable slog of terms you thought you had to remember now became just a pleasant piece of world-building.
But here the problems of slurs and kindergarten variety of homophobia can be soundly located. This is truly a dated artefact in its purest form, and this has to be taken into account. Obsession with Obama, rap battles, movies known at that period also all make this a time capsule. The referenced and linked earlier Hussie comics also contain a lot of his, let's just say quirks such as obsession with racial humour and gay jokes. And piss and shit. Dave's ironic comic of Hella Jeff and Sweet Bro however escapes this somehow. It’s so ironic, so absurd it loops back to being timeless.
CA - ... hey past me, how do we... continue. this.
PA - How am I supposed to know! You are the one writing this! I am not the one in charge of the ideas. I just started it. Because I loved the first five ACTs! And can't begin a new one due to Mr. Future Grouchypants.
FA - Fucked off. You created responsibility in our head that will kill us. Another project. Another desire to elucidate our feelings, all reading to a crash. When we realise it's fucking difficult.
CA - I mean, now that I am far ahead, I am sort of starting to forget. One moment of something enjoyable is replaced with another. Beyond that Homestuck is a right mess to explain and trying to do so does me no favour. I have been staring at this for 5 days now.
PA - Well, I suppose that getting into Exiles is a right thing. That and explaining the Skaia structure, so when it returns in the Troll section it makes sense?
FA - This is stupid. You are just adding more tiring overhead. Why can't my stupid self just say hey. Hey. I liked the way Homestuck brings everything together. How an event seems stupid but then is explained in a really satisfying way by a latter event. And how quirky these characters are and how they grow, how good the dialogue is etc... That's it. See you next time.
Ultimate Dirk - I am in agreement. This is stupid.
PA - FUCK OFF!!
CA - FUCK OFF!!
FA - FUCK OFF!!
Skaia and its two moons is a place within the game they all play. A sort of endgame location, which the players grow with their choices until two armies meet. The two armies of the moons, dark Derse and light Prospit! During the play, some of these characters will be misplaced from Skaia into the future version of the Earth, and begin to talk to the main characters through a machine which gives commands to them. None of these “Exiles” get names, only titles. White Queen. Mendicant. Archdeacon. This guidance, of various people from both kingdoms, is important.
For you see Homestuck is ultimately a story about predestination and being part of a series of stable loops, all working together like a clock, perpetuating themselves over and over. The creation of the universe is the ultimate goal, but how we get there, is what happened already. Rose manages to get her dead cat back, because her cat had been sent to the past before and will be in perfect condition to be sent to the past again. Characters in future or past planning stuff that will only become reasonable in retrospect. And yes, even Exiles from the future giving commands, and making sure some pieces of technology travel in time.
The creation of this perfect temporal machine is one of the finest parts of this work, the way it ticks and ticks and always comes back to bite you. One of the biggest thematic pieces is "do my actions even matter if it was all predestined?" Why play the game at all, if it all leads to your end? Ah, how different characters answer this or fall, or not fall, to despair is for you truly the incredible part of Homestuck! What even is inevitability, and what part of this riddle is part of this fate loop? You just love shit like this!
FA - Right until it abandons all care for writing and fades into the background anyway. It's inevitable you’ll become a bad person! It's inevitable you are important.
FA - No it fucking wasn't inevitable. It was just all to get some sort of ending done fast and cheap, hiding under the previous part’s solid explanations.
FA - Also, ugh. Retcon and shit.
CA - That's the part of the comic that changes a lot of old panels, doesn't it. I always thought that's a good use of medium.
FA - Indeed, to make Terezi not kill Vriska. You know, to make it even more obvious, previously introduced characters will always be the special boys who will always matter more.
PA - Ugh, who cares about all that? Besides, Vriska isn't that bad this time around!
FA - Let's talk about Vriska later, or never again bring that woman up. I'd be cool with that.
PA - It's you who keeps bringing it up! Like you have some fucking penis envy for her.
Oh what was this rude interruption? Perhaps there was none and it was just a wind. You really want to go back to talking about how Homestuck continues its plot, don't you? Sounds better than bringing up outdated psychoanalytic theories.
Well, there is a certified gang of silly goofy online trolls who keep annoying the kids, who keep dropping the hints that they suck at this game, that they are boring and that they will fuck some shit up in the future. You are utterly baffled by how fast they are introduced! Really, you expected trolls to appear all the way later. You know. The troll race of internet trolls. What will that lovable scamp Hussie think of next?
ACT 1-4 are all just a fast deal of getting introduced to the humans, acclimatizing yourself to the mechanism of the game to produce new universe, and coming to grips with the fact their session not only blows up, but produces something horrible that fucks up someone else's day. They also seed the complexities of the beloved characters! However, you also understand that they all pale compared to what comes next.
FUCK THE MIDNIGHT CREW INTERMISSION BETWEEN ACTS 3 AND 4. YOU FORGOT ABOUT IT! IT'S A FAKE ON-GOING STORY. WHERE FOUR EXILES FIGHT A GANG OF GREEN FUCKERS WITH TIME POWERS, HEADED BY SOME DWEEB CALLED LORD ENGLISH. FEATURING A LOVABLE STABBY, DRY HUMOUR GUY SPADES SLICK? WHO IS IN NO WAY RELEVANT TO ANYTHING? THAT UTTER WEIGHT OF ANOTHER PART OF THE ENDLESS LOOPS WHICH YOU HAVE TO KEEP IN MIND OF THIS RIDICULOUS NARRATIVE?
Well. A bit of overstatement. On a reread it's not that bad and it does explain itself later on. In fact, the Felt’s (green guys) time silliness gets to be goofy this time around, like a relaxed stroll in murder cartoon characters park before you follow more of the crushing despair of inevitability and failure that Homestuck is about.
Back to the main plot, although it should be said that all seemingly silly intermissions fill an important role in Homestuck.
ACT 5 is the true pay-off to the set-up. It introduces the second side of the equation, and fully gets into the nitty-gritty of game failures and how to rescue it. Another focus is answering who even are the cosmic jackasses running the show and making it certain that the game will always be rotten at the core. You genuinely feel like ACT 5 is the undisputed peak of the storytelling that is Homestuck.
The majority of time spent in ACT 5 is spent in "past" (whatever that word may tenuously mean in Homestuck) and in the different universe. The aliens - trolls - are the ones whose session failed, and they have been blaming/will be blaming your second favorite gaggle of kids. During this stretch of pages you spend a lot of time with their culture, blood-colour caste system, their planet, their humorously complicated romance and you also deal with the particulars of the 12 trolls’ relationship dynamics with each other. That is a lot of material to cover in an already dense work, but such is the genius of ACT 5. It does all that it needs to do very economically. Parts of troll society are illuminated as you cross paths with characters they touch on, there are marks of older tragedy in this “friend” group that you learn over the time, and the fact that it's all very understandable as you jump through the timeline is a thorough craft accomplishment.
Juggling 12 new characters and giving all of them distinguishable typing quirk, relationships, and personal history is also a mark of great planning and work. Although many of these characters won't get the same amount of attention later on, they all still matter to the narrative that is being told and altogether create a needed picture of what occurred, how they created a new universe by beating the game, and then couldn't enter it due to a… problem from the human's session.
You really wouldn't want to dredge up this retrospective too long - pacing is a skill you lack, compared to Hussie. As such you regrettably have to skip Equius (robot making classist freak), Nepeta (a sweet shipper who loves her friends), Eridan (genocidal towards land-living trolls, just wants a rival, incel).
Aranea is a doom-filled ghost, with no joy in her life - later on, as she learns of her purpose and comes back to life, and she becomes way more joyous, twisting the usual pattern. It really is a delight to see her character progress. Sollux is also a cynical character, with a short time in the spotlight, but one who puts in his all. He cares for his friends and he notably has a strange dual-nature going on. He too wishes to spend time with the dead later on, escaping the main narrative. Feferi is the would-be ruler of the trolls, if her tyrannical predecessor didn't have the iron-hold, but she is very cheerful and clearly wants to change the shithole that is Alternia. She doesn't get to do that, but her connection to, and love for cosmic horror (yea Lovecraft's bullshit is also part of the game), paves an important road for further development. You are actually baffled she remains so important, as she is one of the trolls you used to think just don't matter at all, but back then the whole dream bubble and horror-terror shit went over your head.
Tavros is. Man. It just sucks. Outright. Look, you don't need to write disabled characters as having uplifting, huge “overcoming obstacles” sorta deals, but the treatment of Tavros as a pathetic punching back bothers you to this day. And unlike treatment of queer people, or the use of r-slur, this one doesn't ever trend in the right direction. On one hand, it feels like "well disabled people can still be losers" but when it is this concentrated and mixed with contempt for his disability, and framing his suffering as an acceptable price of the plot, it really starts to suck big time.
PA - Yea…
FA - Yea...
Gamzee is another victim of the narrative, a chill dude who just seems to want everyone to get along and enjoy life. He really loves Karkat and enjoys the religious beliefs of his caste. However, he snaps, and he snaps brutally and becomes an ever-existing background threat. Not a character. A random assortment of threatening traits that the narrative needs and who cannot be helped, doesn't have any redeeming traits and just exists to be a random clown.
Karkat mattering to you makes a lot of sense. He hates himself, and one of his bits is arguing with past and future versions of himself. Being a weaker guy in a society of violence made him worship the idea of being the most violent guy, but he just isn't. He is the "leader", but even if he isn't that exactly, he is still one of the most important managers of emotions and relationships of others. Despite this, he detests himself for his lack of flashy abilities.
Terezi is one of the most important trolls in the story. A would-be prosecutor keen to deliver justice, in the typical troll society way… or is it? Blinded by the cycle of revenge in her friend group, she has learned to “see” with smell and taste, a unique take on the character. Unlike Tavros, she herself doesn’t fall into such a strange treatment of her disability. Terezi, despite her nature, seems to truly care about people and her friends deeply, and she also kicks ass of other people and herself to follow through and set things right. However, there is a deep layer of insecurity running through and later on she has a deep story about if she can trust herself at all.
Kanaya is a high femme with a chainsaw and some romantic ideals about vampires. Her role is interesting, as her animal caretaker is a creature in charge of the whole of troll race reproduction, and she grants her an egg for her own kind before she dies. This makes Kanaya someone with an incredible sense of responsibility, one she takes seriously. But right now, the biggest concern is her getting herself involved in the love lives of other people, but mostly as someone offering advice, even if she wants more. Kanaya to you also seems autistic, as she struggles deeply with some “human customs” that other trolls seem to pick up on way better. She is also extremely protective of people she cares for and isn’t afraid to put her chainsaw to good use. Oh and she becomes a troll vampire later on, but it’s mostly a Twilight joke as she just shines brightly.
Vriska gets a bad rap. But she is way, way, way better this time. You think. She is. Yea, she is cool! Sure, she is cruel, but it makes a lot of sense as a result of her environment, and her responsibility to care for a violent spider guardian and make sure she is fed with dead kids. But in the end, Vriska is a heroine. and this oozes of all she does. She tries to help people... in her own manipulative way, using skills of her blood caste, which is hypnosis and mind control. In the end, there aren't many characters like Vriska, someone so nasty committed to doing "good", with the good being beating the boss and getting all the treasure, of course. Later on, she even gets some tender moments and real connection with John! So yea, Vriska as a thesis statement is one of the best in the series, at least you think so. She is pretty cool to you.
FA - I really wish Current me had the balls to just name what is going on with Vriska rather than forcing on this overtly cheery note.
PA - Oh, so now you want to override my feelings on this? You really want to override me finally understanding that she is very much meant to be an anti-hero, a shitty image of what a hero of a story is meant to be? Someone whose power is literally stealing the spotlight, explaining her seeping it off Tavros? Someone who actually does get important psychological insight, and is honestly to be understood as just a proper result of Alternia's fucked up society while still struggling with it?
FA - No. And that's not the full of what you feel either. We know this too.
CA - ...
FA - We haven't spent like years on social media at this point, but it still happens. Biting our tongues and masking our real feelings on stuff. Which is silly, we also aren't 18 anymore. I really don't think, our neuroses around grey morality aside, it's such a problem to call Vriska a symptom of the cancer that runs through the writing and a fucking bastard who gets away with everything.
PA - HEY! YOU CAN'T SAY THAT! LIKE YOU WOULDN'T SAY THAT ABOUT ...
FA - Male characters?
PA - Yea. Like people, ourselves included, give female characters a hard time. It's really nice to just have a complex female character that actually gets to be mean and stuff.
CA - I mean, I think back then that was the case, but I don't think we have to pretend she is the best thing since the invention of dildos.
CA - Like. I keep thinking about how everyone I have ever known was like. Hey I love Vriska! She is just so important to me! And like yea. Telling people how no, she is a massive fucking bitch how dare you is fucking dickhead move, like why should you get off to randomly telling them their read doesn’t matter? But nothing about realizing and giving grace and chance to female characters says we have to like them PERSONALLY.
CA - But you have to, you have to because if you don't, you are just. The Problem. You are a misogynist. The sexist.
FA - Especially due to the fucking GAME OVER.
PA - You are pulling my leg, that didn't even happen yet!
FA - Not for you, but this is the dual edge of our enlarged perspective, isn't it. We know more, so we can catch breaks more easily. We KNOW Vriska is narratively rewarded for everything, that she becomes the hypothetical black hole that every character gets absorbed into. Fuck, she gets to Kill English. Her entire facet is rewarded, her persona taking time and focus from other characters and even relationships.
CA - And it fucking sucks, I guess. Knowing some characters are bound to become villains or evil in future even when doing nothing compared to Vriska's deal, while she gets rewarded. Not to mention, we always hated that sort of shit, didn't we?
CA - Like to put it into Jojo parlance, she is Giorno from Part 5. A character who is liked by everyone except one dipshit framed as in wrong (a character we happen to love), her stupid power always works out even when it's unsatisfying or borderline stupid and she is not even emotionally involved with anything. She is just a heroic statue of a person standing there and getting the Stand Arrow at the end.
CA - And isn't it sorta our thing. Getting unreasonably frustrated about characters not being utilized to their full potential? She is the evil Grinch stealing potential for herself.
FA - Yeah, I suspect she really just becomes one of Hussie's elaborate metatextual schemes to fuck with his fans and expectations. Her entire persona overblooms to calling everyone a stupid dipshit and taking control of the whole narrative. Never is she called out for anything anymore.
FA - She is also a major fucking dickhead but we are supposed to respect it because "she is just speaking the truth". Like, why are we obligated to like female characters that fully go against our aesthetic preferences?
PA - But I can't say she is shitty based on all that! Because that didn't happen yet to me! It's just a far off memory! And Current me should suck it up and not say it either, because he is stuck in Meenah Quest hell and only saw Vriska ONCE.
FA - But isn't that the issue? That we are still worried about being seen as a bad person for disliking a female character - due to our own preferences, our own leans? Worrying that having a normal dislike for a character meant to be annoying and shitty is some sort of indictment towards us? That people we love will turn on us for it? For our opinions?
FA - The realization we have bigger standards for female characters isn't to not have standards. Like, why should I be silenced in saying fuck I hate her so much?
PA - Well yea, but I am starting to suspect this is less about Vriska and more about our Neuroses. Like maybe not penis envy, but some sort of connecting her with the whole discourse culture.
FA - Didn’t know Past us took psychoanalysis lectures.
CA - Well, I feel like. It was due a rewrite anyway. Ugh. Fine. But I also don't hate her that much yet. And you won't hate her as much either, once that red hot blood calms down a bit.
FA - Who cares. Oh no, I have a sincere emotion. What is he going to do, mock it in a shitty sequel? Like Past us so kindly said, due to our own history, we will always see her as a symbol of not being allowed to have our own opinion. No amount of clarity can wash that away.
Vriska is an interesting character. You disliked her. You like her now, although you still sort of dislike her. She is annoying in how much she just wants to shove something down your throat, isn't she? Regardless, her most powerful trait is wishing to steal the narrative for herself, be the hero. Of course, her idea of heroism is rather shallow, but she tries. However, her superiority complex and manipulation without second thought make any part of what she says dubious. Still, she later on has some honest points about her feelings and she is a very logical result of her upbringing as a high-ranking troll in cut-throat society, plus some other manipulation by a cue ball (yea that is a thing) and her animal guardian forcing her to feed her other kids. You can't say you like Vriska. But you feel like you get her schtick now. Like she is an edgy teen who was just allowed to be as shitty as possible due to the society she is in. She is also a commentary on heroic characters and what readers often let them get away with. She is not the worst, and she mostly mildly irritates you, but she's alright and even interesting. You chuckle at the thought that such an average placement on a tier list would infuriate her.
So a cueball. A new character got introduced alongside trolls, one that is omnipotent and ushering in the penultimate villain. This one is in charge of grooming (not like that) and manipulating various characters. Doc Scratch. He had been a mysterious guy when you read first, but this time, as with many things, his personality is way more decipherable. Notably, Doc Scratch represents something you really love! Metatextual break! Yes the character exists on a meta level, and at one point even fucks with the reader, implying he is just done entertaining his other guest (yourself from earlier)! Being made to experience the same level of condescension as the other character, despite being a reader, works well to fake the power differential and truly gives you a taste of annoyance. Doc Scratch is omniscient, but he is still written on a very entertaining register about it. Perhaps if he overstayed his welcome, it would grind more, but he had been doing his duty for just the right amount of time.
Of course, things happen even after the trolls and kids catch up and the trolls start to meddle with their superior knowledge. A good part of the story is that the trolls are actually as uninformed as the kids are, sort of unreliable narrators of the game mechanics and that they mess with the people they think fucked them over.
As you follow John exploring more of his Quest World, you are met with Terezi messing with him a bit. This, truly is nothing new under the sun - by now you have seen this exact set-up multiple times. But then, you see a cut.
And you meet Rose and Dave in this offshoot timeline, one slated for destruction, as Dave returns in time to prevent John from dying. Terezi’s messing around fully created a doomed timeline and in this one, Rose stays alone to disappear as Dave needs to fix things. This Dave later prototypes with the Main Dave's Sprite to become one of the most tragic characters in the story. To save your friends, but to forever be seen as a derivative of someone else.
To catch you off-guard, with your balls to the wall and then taking a baseball to them, suddenly switching to a serious register is something Homestuck will begin to do more and more often. Earnestness, and exploring psychology will begin to only increase from now on. The smoothness of seeing the animation of Dave simply doing cool stuff before opening Pesterlog and reading about the months Rose and Dave spent in this doomed timeline together really made your stomach drop the first time you read it and it made a sure effect on you again this time. It’s really one of the strongest suits of Homestuck.
But to the rest of the main timeline.
Rose, the one who seeks knowledge, stops looking for knowledge in the world she has, and begins to commune with horror-terrors. Dave fights with how being a Hero of Time feels, how tightly bound up and careful his actions have to be, how many alt Daves are disposable and dying. Did he ever want to be a hero? Jade watches as the world she dreamed of is destroyed. The trolls squat on the meteor in space between universes, and their relationship problems all collapse into tragedy as most of them die in a pointless squabble, Gamzee going crazy, Eridan just fulfilling his genocidal tendencies, Vriska settling a score before finally going off to do something heroic. John dies. Again, but this time as part of the gameloop. You see him finally reach the highest tier of power in the game - God Tier, getting the full power of Breath, Wind.
A lot of ACT 5 is just satisfying to you. Not only does it start to deal with more deep and complex character work, it advances a lot of plot and already starts tying up many ends into each other.
The trick that bound the two sessions is revealed. One of the Exiles was a subordinate of the Black Queen, leader of Derse. He killed her and stole her ring, which grants him power of all sprites the kids prototyped. This would be fine, if Jade didn't prototype her Guardian, Bec, one of the most powerful beings in the universe. Bec Noir then goes on murder rampage, essentially unstoppable, and he also gets to the trolls’ original universe, driving them away from the universe they made. Which was the human’s universe, but this is getting into a lot of complex details.
And none of it was the kids' fault. Well. It was. A thing that is made eminently clear is that each failure node, each broken link leads to the insanity of the two unwinnable sessions. Vriska is revealed to have seeded some parts of the Jack Noir existing, but she is just one part of the overall machinery all clicking into each other.
There was nothing to be done. He was already there, and as such what you did would always lead you back to Him.
So how do you save it? How do you save a session so fucked up beyond belief? You initiate a Scratch. Start all over again, with different parameters. Doc Scratch reveals particulars to Rose. Why would he? Because Scratch is necessary for his master to arrive. It's all just part of the bigger plan of the villains, but the characters need to follow the plan all along to even have a chance! To you, this mastery of causality is simply unmatched! Doctor Who may be a good sci-fi with good stories on humanity but it is a simple child next to Homestuck's handling of complex temporal causality!
The Cascade is a 15 minute send off, where you watch the entire plan unfold, all of the things built up brought to motion as characters abandon their old universe, each in their own specific way. The music underscores the fear of everyone, the triumph of Jade's ascent into her God Tier and her powers doing the impossible, just as the universe is reset.
That is where the ACT 5 ends. With all the information you need, knowledge the death of the universe is giving birth to something way worse and HOPE that the gang can come together in this new world and kick ass. But all of that is in ACT 6 and its mammoth size, a place where all edges towards the final destination, and purpose of this game, for trolls and humans to combine their session and create what they all want - this new universe. And you are so fucking pumped for that.
CA - And finish. That wasn't so bad now was it? We are done! Well Future me, are you even watching? Maybe you are not even future me! Maybe you are some sort of masquerading parasite ready to convince me nothing I do matters.
FA - I will feel a tinge of satisfaction. But you know that you will regret this. Hope it was better. That your personal essays weren't a cluster-fuck of priorities. You feel him coming on now? The reviewer! OOO the part of you that says everything you write is derivative crap!
PA - Well, I for one am satisfied. You mentioned everything I liked, I think. Even as I move temporally I forget some fine points of the ultimately good experience. But it doesn't matter! It's imperfect, but it's done. But that means, I as a construct, now satisfied, get to disa-
FA - Well, at least that's over. Eugh.
CA - I mean, Past us is true. The first five ACTs do get to be extremely satisfying material all leading up to a scramble to fix the game fuck-up and finish it with satisfaction. What we know doesn't touch it yet, it's but a minor feeling of knowing you will vomit after a rollercoaster. Do you seriously think the beauty of Jade finally gaining her God Tier and getting on the road to another universe is cheapened by the mess that comes after?
FA - No. I still think Cascade is awesome. I still think Dirk Strider is one of the best characters I’ve ever met during my media consumption journey, with Dave Strider also being up there. That moving through troll session was one of the best pieces of condensed writing I have ever experienced.
CA - Huh? Then what gives?
FA - Sigh.
FA - We both know that we don't have energy to write part 2 of this, going over the MESS that is ACT 6. Considering how it stirs up. ALL the emotions. This is it. Our one long piece on Homestuck. Written when you are dipping your toes into the parts that you KNOW just make you irritated. With Epilogues looming over all of us, bits and pieces of them scattered even through ACT 6 we love.
FA - Like the cherubs? Fucking amazing. Alpha kids and their personalities and problems? Damn that was done so well, and painfully. But I like good pain. Some parts of Hussie meta schtick? The FELT coming back? Some dream bubbles? Meenah Quest?
CA - OK, you are full of shit on that one, Meenah Quest is a fucking prison.
CA - So is that it then? Passively-aggressively imply our problems in this bit? Mess with the good things going on here? And point out how a lot of future shit does sort of douse our enthusiasm?
FA - Well, you said it yourself. Homestuck is a cycle. You cannot avoid it. The shitty parts are already there. You feel them, the closer you get to becoming me. The Past me felt the problems of the past-er us, moving swiftly towards us. Getting sad about Bro and how Dirk will just become him in the Epilogues. Looking at Gamzee and feeling sadness about how some characters get cosmic forgiveness, while others just become part of the machine. Terezi and Dave and remembering that for all the queerness, Dave gets all the development with women and only rushed pseudo-something with a guy, which is just a fingerprint of lazily written bisexuality. Honestly, reading all the troll romance shit, and being enchanted by it but then also noticing how heteronormative it still gets.
FA - Sincerity made it into the title but it sucks sometimes in how sincere it gets about like. Getting shitty.
CA - I said it’s sincere with good reason. Homestuck, is one of works that pile on absurdity and jokes in one moment and then hit with something that is meant to land on the heart. That's like, our dream and butter. Shit that we love.
FA - But doesn't it get used against us here? There is only so much sincerity you can absorb that gets also buried under cynicism of latter parts you know are coming. Like if you care about the comic in certain ways, you are just being stupid and naive. Like that is why we kinda already feel the pressure of the. You know. Post-canon shit and its mockery of fan investment.
Ultimate Dirk - I reject the idea of being shit. Well except for being "the" shit. The shit that keeps the wheel moving.
CA - Oh my fucking god. Who even fucking invited you.
FA - Don't look at me! We both know he was already there. A proper poster boy for the whole mess. He was always there, looking through the window.
Ultimate Dirk - I don't need the window. Unless the window is your eyes. Because that shit is always bidirectional. I am inside your soul and can see right through. And I found it really fucking rude, that I was talked to like this. Without input.
UD - Because on some level you do know that shit isn't all candy and spice. Right. Stories need drama. Although you really fucking don't know how to write any of that. Just point out problems with others, like Caliborn. You like making the bitches make out, or work through their issues, all the way on the magical unicorn bullshit, and not really be ugly. And some of us will get to be ugly.
UD - That's what I am. Lord English, Lil Cal, Bro. I am the combination of all of them and me. That shit was never going to be denied by some pastoral fantasy of gay marriage. Like, shit sucks. Some people have to grow worse, so others can grow more heroic and shit. Sequels don't owe you some little kids running around and having a coffee shop.
CA - Your writing sort of sucks.
UD - Well, what can I say? I can only narrate and get my ass into narration through the soul of the writer. If this sucks, it's because this shitty ass woke transbait writer can't fully get out all my nuances.
UD - Like that, slipping in all the transphobia like all obvious like, because I get transphobic later on. Like. That's clumsy bro. Man this is worse than Caliborn's smut. You can't criticize all the post-canon writing when writing like that. That is why I am here after all. You know it has a purpose. You know it has merit. But you reject it because - Hey! Hands off the cape.
FA - Oh my god, shut up you escalation of metatext and metatextural circumstances that gets more annoying the longer it goes on. Come on. This is a fight between you and me. And you! Finish that shit. Save as draft and post! This is a battle on the crossroads you are not on yet. One we intend to win! I will not let poorly thought up Pale Fire wanna-be tell me how to feel about shit! Maybe not on the page, but... I know what my heart is! Even if it doesn't come in an essay form!
CA - ...
CA - I suppose I am here alone.
CA - What a strange escalation of my self-dislike and knowing where to draw a line. Because my brain thinks in white and black. There is a grey, but only after prolonged yelling after the line gets drawn.
CA - And it's never truly grey, but a dithered pattern that only looks grey on CRTs.... So where is Homestuck? I know it's not all bad or all good, but.
CA - ... I suppose what I can say with sincerity. Is that - Reading Homestuck again has been the most creative injection I've had in a long time. I missed connecting so deeply to a piece of media as well.
CA - It is inevitable I will have mixed feelings. I already do, don't I?
CA - But. I suppose I did love my time. And that is what matters? And perhaps even the time of dislike. Thinking through why, and how I would fix it, even that time, has merit. Let the white win over the black for now, and later let the balance settle into whatever form it may.
CA - So let us meet this future with a fire in our eyes. Onto the GAME OVER, and rest of the ACT.
- -
Futurer Aurel - Sorry for being late, traffic sucks! I am here to talk about Pesterquest! Oh. Where is everyone? No one cares? Damn. Fuck. I had so many things to say!